'Heaven Awaits' 11 inches x 14 inches. Mixed media on found canvas board, 2011.

I have half a dozen Jesus related artworks appearing in The Jesus Show which opened last Saturday night at the fabulous RayRay gallery at 530 Broadway Street, Chico, California.  Religiously speaking I go through life as a kind of disinterested agnostic until I have the misfortune to actually encounter organized religion first hand, at which point I rapidly transform into a card-carrying atheist. Despite this lackadaisical attitude to religion, when Ray Ray invited me to contribute to the show I decided to take the plunge, figuring I would be able to find a rich vein of humor in a subject that’s already knee-deep in absurdity. Hopefully I succeeded. Because when all’s said and done, if I did believe in Jesus I’d have to believe he would enjoy a good laugh.

And, judging by this promo video for the show, the folks at RayRay agree:

If you’re feeling particularly spiritually stout-hearted you can see all six of the pieces I made for the show on my Society 6 page right here. And if you can’t be bothered here’s one more to be going on with.

'All Things To All Men' 16 inches x 20 inches, Mixed Media on Found Canvas Board.

And just to make the whole thing seem totally legit, you can even read a review of the show right here. Apparently my contribution “ isn’t a mockery of faith… so much as a playful, sarcastic teasing of any moral sanctimony.” a statement I’d have a hard time disagreeing with. Hallelujah!

Other Gallery Related News:

After almost 10 years of being represented by Hang in San Francisco, I recently decided to part company with the gallery. New ownership and a change in attitude to things like ‘output’ and ‘market value’ had made me even less comfortable with the gallery than I already was. (I’ve always been pretty much the token supplier of ‘quirky’ artwork – along with the fabulous Dave Warnke - amidst a plethora of well executed but pretty asinine decorative abstract and landscape paintings.) This won’t actually make any real difference to the amount that my work gets shown, since it’s been quite a while since Hang actually Hung any of my work, but it does mean I won’t be selling any more pieces through them. The good news for you and me is that, since there  won’t be a 50% gallery commission on every piece bought, I can actually sell my work for a more reasonable price and yet still make more money. With that in mind I’ve posted a bunch of new work for sale on my Etsy shop. If you have the time and the inclination I’d humbly implore you to have a look. After all, nothing say ‘Happy Holidays, Sweetie Pie’ like the gift of slightly dodgy artwork.

William H. The Pathetic President.

Just finished this illustration for Cincinnati Magazine for an article by New York Times op-ed columnist Gail Collins about William Henry Harrison, the 9th President of the USA, who apparently hailed from Ohio.

As a President he was a pretty sorry specimen, his claims to fame all pretty much amounting to spectacular non-achievements. Firstly he gave the longest inaugural speech in history, which would be bad enough, but unfortunately March 4, 1841, was a cold and wet day and Our William chose to wear neither overcoat nor hat. This was allegedly to demonstrate his robustness, which had been called into question due his advancing years. As a consequence of this foolhardiness he developed both pneumonia and pleurisy shortly after. Despite the attentions of the top medics of the day and the liberal application of  opium, castor oil, and leeches he proceeded to drop dead exactly one month later. Which made his the Presidential term the shortest in history, coming in at 30 days, 12 hours, and 30 minutes. It also made him the only President never actually to move into the White House.

No wonder he looks so bloody miserable.

That haircut has not been enhanced in any way.

As a man with very little in the way of hair I am always swift to admire an abundance of it in others. Particularly when it is worn with a disregard for convention verging on wild abandon. Imagine my delight, then, when I was recently asked by The Imperial College, London to create a portrait of the above effusively haired author of an article in their alumni magazine, the imaginatively monikered ‘Imperial’. I’m always a bit nervous about doing portraits, but when I received the photograph of my intended victim my heart leapt, since he had topped off a ‘characterful’ physiognomy with this truly remarkable coiffure. The subject of our hirsute hero’s article was the effects of social media on the lives and study habits of contemporary students, and I attempted to incorporate this subject matter into the portrait but, if we’re being honest, it’s completely overshadowed by the author’s magnificent mane.  Anyone interested in further reading can download their very own PDF of the magazine right here.

Who says there's no such thing as a free magazine?

The next publication is Portals Zine – the lavishly produced, 44 page, saddle-stiched ‘Art Journals’ issue to be specific. You’ll have to pay for this one I’m afraid, but needless to say it’s well worth every penny of the $20 in question, featuring as it does the only four page, full-color interview with Yours Truly in existence. Want to know what inspires me, or where I create? Then choke up the twenty bucks right here, my friend. You won’t be disappointed. Well, you may be, but please don’t complain to me if you are. I got no money for this and did my best to appear at least partially interesting.

Front cover and double page spread of semi-comprehensible musings.

Now let us continue our jaunty amble through this leafy literate alleyway until we alight upon the estimable Rückenkälte zine. This, as the teutonic title would suggest, is a Germanic publication. It features both short-stories (mostly in German, nor surprisingly) and, for the amusement of non-German speakers, illustrations. Apparently artists such as Mariana Abasolo, Mitch Blunt and David Shrigley have contributed to past issues (although out of that trio Shrigley is the only one I’ve actually heard of). The theme of the issue I contributed to is “forms” which, as you can see, I interpreted as obtusely as possible.

Get it? Not forms like the shape of a thing, but forms like you fill in.

Anyways the good news (or gute nachrichten) for you is that Rückenkälte is a free zine. The bad news (or schlechte nachrichten) for me is that instead of getting paid for my artistic efforts I received a vague and fairly unconvincing promise of  ”immense popularity among Germans (and Austrians) for your work”. We shall see. We shall see.

The half-baked excuse on this occasion is the appearance of two of my paintings in the soon-to-be completed new Hollywood Blockbuster Disaster Movie from director Steven Soderbergh entitled Contagion.

Here’s one of the paintings right here:

One of the paintings.

Apart from my paintings the movie also features a host of lesser known stars, such as Jude Law, Matt Damon, Kate Winslet, Gwyneth Paltrow and Laurence Fishburne. You have to admit that’s an impressive amount of namedropping – and we’re not done yet, there’ll be more later. But back to the movie who’s plot revolves around “a lethal airborne virus emanating from Asia that responds to no known protocol, is more contagious than the common cold, and kills within days. With the world-wide medical community racing to find a vaccination, society begins to break down as rumor and innuendo swirl across international boundaries”. Could be good, could be rubbish. All we know for sure is that the sequence shot in San Francisco may fleetingly feature two paintings that are breathtakingly fantastic, unless they end up on the cutting room floor of course, which is highly likely. Personally I’ve had a soft-spot for disaster movies, ever since I saw Earthquake in Sensurround at the Edinburgh Odeon, as an undernourished and pimply youth, back in 1974.  Richard Roundtree, Walter Matthau, Victoria Principal, Charlton Heston, Ava Gardner now that’s a cast worth namedropping!

You’ll no doubt be wanting to see the other painting, so here it is:

The other painting.

Apparently they’ll be lurking in the background during a cafe scene. Oh, and if I may take the liberty of answering the question that I know hovers on everyone’s lips, yes, they are both still for sale! This could be your opportunity to own a piece of genuine Hollywood Blockbuster Memorabilia at a very attractive price, an heirloom for future generations to gaze upon in wonder.

If you do choose to purchase one of these unique and remarkable pieces you’ll be following in the esteemed footsteps of other name-droppable Hollywood Celebrities Robert Downey Jr. and Carrie Fisher, both of whom are proud owners of Fullarton originals. No I’m not kidding. Cross my heart and hope to die. In fact not only does Mr. Downey Jr. own a drawing, which I fondly imagine him gazing at from his favorite armchair as he relaxes in front of a roaring fire with a mug of steaming Ovaltine, this Christmas he actually bought two more pieces to give as gifts to people he particularly despises.

And because I know you’re fascinated, here’s one of the pictures Carrie Fisher bought:

One of the pictures Carrie Fisher bought.

You can see what she saw in it, can’t you?

Anyhow, the purpose of this particular rambling update is to vaingloriously brag about a recent illustration commission for the Washington Post. The cover of the Local Living section no less.

The article I was asked to illustrate was about the big differences in the way that men and women exercise – men going berserk lifting weights, generally overdoing it and injuring themselves, and women doing stuff like yoga and pilates and taking it  too easy to actually get much benefit. As well as the cover there was an inside illustration that appeared alongside the article. I thought the humor would come from contrasting the two approaches side by side – so my challenge was to work out a way to do that in both pieces, and tie them together as well. The result was this approach, kind of based on an exquisite corpse drawing, where the picture of the man and the picture of the woman were ‘torn’ in half and reassembled as one figure, comparing the characteristics of both to comic effect.

As you can no doubt tell I was responsible for hand drawing most of the type too. It was quite a work out.

Well yes, there are several. Procrastination, lameness, avoidance and denial to name but a few. It’s hard to remember my personal resolution, made back in January to update this blog more regularly – at least twice a month I vaguely remember muttering to myself as the festivities subsided. I’m not exactly sure why I find this task so daunting, but I am sure I’m sick and tired of starting every post with an apology, so remaining true to my procrastinators heart, my New Year’s resolution is officially taking effect in Spring and this post will be the first of a veritable torrent of fascinating information that will forthwith be outpouring from my headquarters here at Fullarton Acres.

News? You want news? okay well lets start with two, yes 2 illustrations for the illustrious Utne Reader. The first, below, is already appearing in the current issue, and illustrates an article entitled ‘The Art of the Police Report‘. It’s currently languishing at number one in the ‘most read’ list on the Utne website (not that I’m letting my handiwork take the credit for that) which means my work is being viewed by literally tens of people! It’s actually a fascinating article about how one LAPD patrolman manages to imbue his supposedly subjective police incident reports with a very distinct point of view – worth a read if you have some time to kill.

Next up we feature an illustration that will appear, in satisfyingly linear fashion, in the forthcoming issue of the Utne. This one, which I have only just finished, will be used to illustrate an entertaining little little bio piece about a quirky and charming near-octogenarian who goes by the excellent name of Vernon G. Bandy. Mr Bandy is a Dowser – a man who plies the inscrutable art of finding objects or liquids with a divining rod or stick. Actually where I come from they are known as Diviners, and mostly they spend their time finding water, but apparently old Vern can also locate, with something approaching regularity, just about anything: water (both pure and contaminated), gold, drugs, oil, dead bodies, and snakes. Hence the visual.

Astute readers will notice there are no words on this one. You can’t say the winds of change never blow through my vast and unimaginably luxurious studio!

Here’s a couple of the latest efforts. First up, for ‘Go’, the inflight magazine of AirTran, an illustration for an article about ‘Literary Death Matches’, which sound fascinating but are really just literary readings with some gimmicky showmanship added to make them slightly less tedious.

Next we have an illustration for an Alumni magazine published by Suffolk University in Boston. This one was for an article in which the author was bemoaning the fact that she had turned in a below par performance as a guest on Oprah’s TV chat show. Knowing that she was feeling bad about messing up her 15 minutes of fame, her husband then did what any caring partner would do in those circumstances. He sent her a fake letter, supposedly from Oprah’s production company, stating that she would not be welcome back on the Oprah Show because her performance had been so stilted. The author was not pleased.

Taunted by the Most Powerful Woman on TV.

I laughed. I cried, I drew a picture.

Front cover of the new Young Offenders long player.

I was recently commissioned to do this 12″ LP jacket art for San Francisco based ‘punk rock sensations’ The Young Offenders. Well, actually, my mate Tim is in the band and he asked me to do it in exchange for several flagons of foaming ale, which, I hasten to add, have yet to be forthcoming. Anyhow it turned out nice, so no hard feelings. In case you’re wondering, The Young Offenders themselves are no one’s idea of young, but they are adequately offensive– procuring a fine approximation of the late 70′s British Punk Rock that I’m actually old enough to have experienced first hand. (For anyone who’s easily impressed I still have my front row ticket stub for the Buzzcocks supported by Joy Division at the Edinburgh Odeon, 1979.)  The album is available for download on iTunes or, preferably, as a limited edition 12″ red vinyl from Deranged Records, complete with beautifully printed, full size, genuine cardboard album cover for a mere $10. The LP labels were hand drawn by yours truly as well, but you only get to see them if you buy the fucker*.

The back cover.

*This gratuitously offensive expletive has been included in a pathetically tame attempt to generate an atmosphere of ‘Punk Rock’ nihilism.

'Henry Roth explores a very human landscape.'

I was recently commissioned by the LA Times to create an illustration for a review of Henry Roth’s posthumously published novel ‘An American Type’. It was an interesting experience – got the brief late on a Wednesday night with nothing but a cut & paste synopsis of the book from Amazon, and had to send rough pencils by the end of Thursday! My original idea featured different text, based on the idea of author Henry Roth being an American type himself, (the novel is largely autobiographical), so I was a bit bummed to have to change it and obscure that idea somewhat – but I’m still pleased with the way the end result looks. All in all it ended up being a pretty enjoyable assignment, don’t think the novel is going to the top my reading list though.